Sexuality in the Arts

I received a great book written by Roger Ebert for Christmas, titled “Awake In The Dark.”  It is a collection of his reviews and commentary on some of the years’ best films and filmmakers. 

I have a habit of sometimes reading the end of a book first, especially if the it is non-fiction, non-linear, or has a poor start.  I tend not to get involved in activities where there isn’t at least some slim hope that the journey to the end will be worthwhile.

Thumbing through the book, I started by reading his last essay titled “CODA  On the Meaning of Life . . . and Movies”

In the essay, he relays a bit of advice Bill Lyon gave to him about writing that I agree with:  “Get to the end of the piece before you go back to revise the beginning.  Until you find out where you’re going, how can you know how to get there?”

The essay is a series of thoughts about his life in Seattle, during daily chemotherapy with all the terrible debilitating side effects chemotherapy brings 24 hours a day.  He wrote:

“During that time I didn’t miss writing a single review, nor did I neglect the Great Movies series or the ‘Answer Man’ column.”

After relaying a beautiful emotional scene from Jacques Beker’s Touchez Pas au Grisbi, he wrote:

“I appreciated that moment in Becker’s film beyond all reason.  I responded to the way it understood that a great movie can involve not plot but life and the daily living of it, and that although movies can amuse and excite us, their greatest consolation comes from when they understand us.”

I don’t love movies as much as Roger Ebert loves movies.  And I don’t love art as much as Roger Ebert loves movies.  But I feel similar sentiments toward the arts as he expresses toward movies.

He writes, “What I am trying to say is that I love my work.  I love movies, I love to see movies, I love to write about movies, I love to talk about movies, I love to go through them a frame at a time in the dark with a room full of people watching them with me and noticing the most extraordinary things.  On the Monday at Boulder, we showed (Renoir’s) The Rules of the Game all the way through and several people confessed they found it disappointing.  Then we went through it for the rest of the week, a shot or even a frame at a time.  By the friday, they embraced it with a true passion.  On Monday, we looked at it.  By Friday, we had seen it.
     Too many moviegoers look at movies and do not see them, but then it has always been that way.  Movies are a time-killer or a casual entertainment for most people, who rarely allow themselves to see movies that will jolt them out of that pattern.”

I feel similarly about how many people see and perceive art.  My efforts are to try to show that there may be more going on than is initially perceived.

Ebert adds, “Movies don’t top out;  as you evolve, there are always films and directors to lead you higher.”  The same is true with so many arts.

Ebert talks about being in a zone when he is writing about what he loves and what is important to him:  “I am known around the office as a ‘fast writer,’ but while I’m engaged in the process I don’t feel as if I’m writing at all;  I’m taking dictation from that place within me that knows what it wants to say.”

My history of writing is similar.  I did not like reading or writing when I was young.  It was only after I experienced love, love for another person and love for the intelligence in the arts that I began to want to read widely and write.

Given Ebert’s serious medical problems, pain, and constant discomfort, the question rises:

Why would someone write daily when they were experiencing such consistent pain?

Ebert writes, “Some of my friends and editors said they were impressed that I continued to see movies and file reviews even during the more difficult days of January and February.  I tried to explain that it would have been harder not to.”

Why would someone write daily when they were experiencing such consistent pain?

The answer is:  They woudn’t . . . unless they perceived being silent would likely lead to even more pain, discomfort, or lack of quality communication.

Ebert notes, “After enjoying extraordinary good health all of my life, I was faced with the fact that my body was fallible and my lifespan finite.  Radiation causes erratic sleep patterns, and in the middle of the night (I read) every one of the novels of Willa Cather, which were a consolation beyond all measuring.”

I loved reading that sentence.  I had no idea he loved Willa Cather.  I love her also.

- - - -

For me, blogging is like the lost art of letter writing.  I write posts each day expending my last, best thought.  I write until I use up all my ideas.  Most days when I’m done, I have no idea if I’ll be able to come up with anything of merit the next day because I have a practice of using up the best I have each day.  But I err on the side of expending it all out there. 

I also write as if I’m writing to a best friend who lives across the sea in an era where I may never be able to see them again.  I want them to know I cherish our shared intellectual musings.  I want them to know that even if I never see them again, I still gave them the best thoughts I had - in hopes those thoughts may support, enliven, and improve their pleasures.

And I focus on sharing the good parts.  I had the privilege of reconnecting for a very brief period with an old muse about a year and a half ago.  In the beautiful and short window, we discovered that in our long years apart we had both been drawn more toward singular quotes and ideas than general philosopies.  Life is short.  So I focus writing about the good parts.

- - - -

I recommend Ebert’s book, and it can be found on amazon.com or any major book source.  

© All rights reserved for Ebert’s excerpts by Roger Ebert.

- - - -

Most Recent Artworks   All the Artists’ Artworks Index   my43things