Are We Still Chasing Amy?
The premise of Kevin Smith’s 1997 film was that the lead male character had big problems with the sexual history of his girlfriend. His girlfriend had extensive sexual experiences with men and women, sometimes at the same time.
In the 12 years since the film was released, maybe times have changed fast. Maybe the internet and cable television have given us so much exposure to and familiarity with sexual issues (aka ”alternatives”) and imagery that fears of the unknown and puritanical concerns have decreased. Maybe I’m so liberal that I’m out of touch with the average person’s sexual sensibilities, but my question is:
Do people really care about the sexual histories of their partners anymore?
Would it matter to you if your significant other had previously had sexual relations with a gender other than your gender?
If your significant other didn’t bring any STDs, emotional baggage, or attachment issues to your relationship, would their sexual history alone be a negative quality? Would you care?
I can’t highly recommend the film because the direction, acting, screenwriting, and more are below average. But the film is interesting as a starting point for discussions about American culture in the last 15 years.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m keenly aware that many people in the U.S. and around the world are mortally opposed to so many things “sexual.” This week I watched a good documentary about Afghanistan women, titled “Beyond Belief.” It is horrific how so many women are still insanely mistreated every day in so many parts of the “modern” world.
But are moral standards and concerns about female “purity” and “chastity” changing in the U.S.? I hope so.
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I have read this blog for some time, but have never commented before. The reason I am commenting on this entry is that Chasing Amy happens to be one of my favorite movies, mainly for the issues you just raised. I’m a huge Kevin Smith fan, and this story was one of the best he wrote because it was so personal for him. In fact, Joey Lauren Adams had been dating Kevin Smith before the movie was made, so she was essentially playing herself. Talk about personal.
I relate to the character of Alyssa so well, not because of my sexual history, but because she makes her own decisions without relying on anyone else’s opinion and refuses to apologize for them. Regardless of her sexual experiences, whether positive or negative, she is a true feminist in my eyes. And her character was written by a man, who knew? One of the many reasons I love Kevin Smith and see him as incredibly progressive when it comes to issues of gender and sexuality, if you care to look beyond the “dick and fart” jokes. Holden’s character, on the other hand, is an interesting look at American constructions of masculinity, which would explain a lot about why he felt so threatened by his female partner’s liberal past. Kevin Smith sees these issues of gender and makes his message about it abundantly clear: Be a man, don’t be a stupid guy and judge a woman for her sexual decisions because if the situation were reversed, you wouldn’t expect to be held accountable for your own decisions in our society like a woman still is, at least to some extent.
I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like the film, but I think the issues that you discussed are exactly what the film is about. This movie was light-years ahead of its time and even today we are still struggling with constructions of and restrictions on female sexuality. But I believe you are right too in saying that things are changing for the better, and we can now better approach our relationships without judgment or expectations about a person’s sexual past. Because that’s exactly what it is, the past.
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OneMoreOption: Thank you for the lovely and thoughtfully written comments. A pleasure to meet you.
I’m glad you enjoyed the film so much. I did not say I didn’t like the film. I said I couldn’t highly recommend it. I really enjoyed the ethical discussions in the film. For me, the film works as a dream-like philosophical narrative more than a portrayal of realism. Repeatedly in the film, the actors, without actually turning and facing the camera, as in “Ferris Bueller” or “The Office”, seem to speak dialogue where their tongue is firmly planted in their cheek – as if saying, “These are not realistic dialogues, but these are the kinds of dialogues we’d have if we all agreed to only discuss the topics in this film.”
For example, Affleck’s character proposing the sexual menage à trois as a “fix” for all the separate relationship problems betwen the three main characters seemed a broad, intentionally humorous, and overreaching solution, inconsistent with the moderate conservatism of his character throughout the rest of the film. It’s not that it couldn’t happen in ways approximate to that discussion, it’s that the discussion was inconsistent with the way the character was portrayed previously. The discussion in that scene is so “matter-of-fact,” making so many presumptive causalities that I had trouble finding it remotely believable. It seemed more like a scene out of a Charlie Kaufman film.
Within the film, the “removing of the 4th wall” and taking us out of linear realism had internal precedence. The Jay and Silent-Bob scene is a similar internal-monologuing between different personifications of the same person format.
The matching facial hair between Affleck and Smith is also visually telling, humorous, and intended. So, I inferred the film was quasi-autobiographical.
I didn’t know that Joey Lauren Adams had dated Kevin Smith. That is lovely and fascinating. It makes sense.
Joey Lauren Adams’ performance is reason alone to watch the film. Her scene in the parking lot after the hockey game is a speech I think all men should see and hear – a great and memorable monologue and performance. She is believably alive and experienced, especially foiled against the controlled stillness of Affleck’s performance.
Since you reveal how much some people care about this film, I’ll add some comments about the film I didn’t include above – for people interested enough to have read this far:
I didn’t like the “moral of the story” as it was stated in the final “Chasing Amy” comic book page frames in the film. The lines were:
“In love, you have to put the individual ahead of their actions . . . always.”
And while Kevin Smith likely wanted to make that ‘conclusion,’ I didn’t come away, after viewing the same events, with the same conclusion.
I still believe in judging individuals by their actions. So, either I disagree with Kevin Smith, or I didn’t read him clearly, or he didn’t express his thought comprehensively in that simple declarative sentence, or something else.
After watching the film, I did come away with support for other ideas like:
- Don’t define your partner’s past sexual actions as ‘bad’ simply because they were outside of ‘normal.’
- Don’t preclude yourself from caring for someone simply based on their sexual history.
- A person’s sexual preferences in the past may not predict their sexual preferences in the future.
- Sometimes we fall in love with a person and not a gender.
Thank you for reading and commenting – you added value to the discussion.
I’m from outside U.S., but the question in your post is interesting. I believe that a person’s sexual preferences in the past may predict their sexual preferences in the future. Exceptions are possible, but I don’t believe it’s possible to constrain or change one’s desires for long time.
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OneMoreOption: You have a valid point. As important, you took the time and had the courage to communicate it.
Primary motivators and animal instincts, including sex,ever had have a pivotal role in shaping the personalities and beings of persons. Nothing surprising, sex related topics top the list of topics searched on the internet. Means of transportation and communication as well as economic well-being of most of the inhibitants of the world are yet to go miles till there is a proper churning of contradictory and diverse traditions, conventions and laws governing morality, and thereby the sex. Till then atleast, and perhaps thereafter as well, there won’t be unanimity in such matters and subjectivity (and not the objectivity) will have the last say.
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OneMoreOption: Maybe. I don’t know.
7:40 PM CST…”Nripane”…I don’t have a clue what you’re attempting to say; you’re syntax is way out of sync. I suspect others may think along similar lines but they are simply too polite to tell you.
Also risky to assume anything fundamental about the “shaping of personalities” based on “topics searched on the internet”, which is really the only thing coherent I could glean from what you were trying to say.
You may want to consider working on your English writing skills, with the help of a mentor, no doubt. No offence intended. Luck to you. J.B. 7/6/09
Thanks my dear for straight-forward yet polite assessment of my piece of writing. You’re welcome.
Honest people are a rare creed these days, and it is them that I value the most, and can’t ever afford to ignore. That’s why I feel duty-bound to respond to you.
With regards,
Sexual history like matters like any other aspect of your personal history I think it helps explain the type of person you become.
That said I’m also a big believer in being discrete and that what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. Sexual history is only a factr in a new relationship if the other persona firstly asks about it, and secondly has hang ups about certain things.
I did most stuff when I was single, my husband has very set values when it comes to sex, we’ve reached an accomodation that we’re both happy with, based around what’s past is past.
while i really appreciate this article i am laughing out loud that the author thinks sexual history doesn’t matter to people anymore. maybe if youve BEEN with enough people or had fulfilling sexual relationships it won’t but to those of us struggling to find someone, only to realize how far behind we are when we do, nothing could be more important and consuming. a large part of this i obviously the role that casual sex and hooking up has taken in media and entertainment, and the retardation of youth to think this is normal and a “good thing” to pursue regardless of who you are, but when you want it, and you can’t get it, nothing is more upsetting than finding someone who did, especially if they did got it like it was no sweat. EVEN if they are ashamed of it.