If You Want It To Be That Way, Make It That Way
If you want sex to be sacred, treat it as sacred.
If you want it to be light, be light.
If you want your conversation to be sensitive, be sensitive.
If you want your game to be playful, respond playfully.
If you want your home to be caring, be ever considerate.
If you want your room to be affectionate, create an environment that facilitates affection.
If you want your social world to be forgiving, be forgiving, not just for wrongs done. Forgive by consistently allowing some unaddressed mistakes to continue around you.
In all these activities, you are only one of multiple people, only one component. The only component you can control is your component. But you can’t fault your environment if you’re not playing your part.
Whatever you perceive to be missing or lacking in your emotional environments will not likely be found if you do not attempt to facilitate its creation. Life tends to become how we shape it. If something is lacking, first look to see if you are creating an environment for it to prosper.
The answers you seek will not likely be found in another person or place. They will primarily be found in the wakes of what you do.
The above artwork is an old photo. I don’t know the creator. Have you ever noticed how most old photos have a definite, strong boundary? Older times wanted strong boundaries. Modern candids and photographs are not as interested in strong boundaries. If you want to change something, change it.
For regular readers: Tomorrow there will be a post on long-term relationships. The next post will be an extensive review of the book “Paying For It” by Chester Brown, a memoir about the experiences of a john.