This site is a source for insightful artworks and educational materials discussing sexuality and love in the arts.  Communities should have exceptional access to diverse sexual and moral viewpoints.  This website has information on theatrical, musical, philosophical, poetic, political, and religious artworks from hundreds of artists over thousands of years.  If you are not yet mature enough to evaluate historical, literary, and artistic information on these important topics, then please be so kind as to consider returning when you are.

To search on any topic, you can use the search cell in the right column to search by keyword, artist, style, era, title, etc.  The tabs across the top of each page connect to word indicies and picture thumbnail indicies to enable searching by either word or image.

This is a non-revenue-generating site with no advertising support.  The posts promote artists, their ideas, and their work.  Wherever artists have online websites, those sites are included to encourage visitors to support those artists.  Thank you to the artists and visitors for continuing these vital dialogues.

No individual person can give artists the support they deserve.  But if we each regularly do something small to support the arts, I hope as a group we can make the world more colorful, memorable, and pleasant.

In the end, kindness matters.

“Some things become irrevocable.  And change more than just your nature.” ~ tetheredto.

Old Haunts And The Common Good

  ~ by OneMoreOption

I’m alone this morning, having safely transported various family members to locales where they can visit old friends.

I’m staying at my mother’s home, the home where I was raised.

Last night, I decided to drive by and see old places I have not seen in 20 years.

Why do we go back and visit old places where we were formed?  And why would we write about those experiences?

I grew up in one of the greenest places on Earth . . . literally.  Trees and bushes grow huge if left to themselves.  Houses appear dwarfed by the rebellious trees and landscapes.  The landscape is in a regular competition with man made structures. 

I drove to a city nearby, a city I had not been to in many years. Where the streets used to end, they had been widened and extended.  The “edges of town” were now somewhere in the middle.

I drove there to see an old home I had not seen in 20 years, a home where my first love’s family lived.  I only visited there because I knew they had moved out several years ago, so I would not be intruding on their privacy.

In thinking to myself, I was trying to figure out why I wanted to see it again.

One of the reasons I write is because I forget things . . . important things.  So, writing allows me to describe and remember personal memories and ideas that would otherwise fade in clarity over time.

Part of me wanted to see these old haunts because I wanted to assure myself they actually existed.  The memories are so old and distant that I wanted to assure myself the places were real . . . even if my memories have waxed rose-colored over time.

I drove up to the home I had known.

The home was very different, not because my memory was incorrect, but because the new owners had painted it an unenthusiastic shade of yellow.  They had converted the garage to a family room.  They’d poured a cement foundation through a third of the backyard, likely enlarging the master bedroom and bath.  As was the trend in the 1990s through 2007, they’d decided to extend the house toward the lot limits, to create more square footage and less yard.

Some things remained the same.  The old front door and lamp appeared to be the same. 

I thought, “The building, the stage, is not the source of magic.  The magic is found in the cast of characters.  And without the cast, the stage is hollow and lonely for me.”

With so many things changed and remodeled, it took me several minutes to confirm whether this formerly small home was the correct home I was looking for.  To orient myself, I walked about 150 feet down the street where a small park used to be.

Sure enough, the park was still there.  Calling it a “park” is kind of ambitious – it’s about 20 feet wide and 50 feet deep in the middle of a dense subdivision, a green space set aside in the subdivision plan.  Now the “park” is overgrown with bushes taller than me.  There’s no place to walk in this “park.”  No grass.  It’s more of a place where neighborhood kids can hide to drink beers or tell secrets. 

But nevertheless, the park was just down from her house, where I expected it to be.  I found the one bench in the park, a bench where we sat when she told me I was no longer a person she wanted to make time for in her life.  She was not the last person to communicate that kind of decision to me, but she was the first significant person to communicate that decision to me.

I looked around to see if there was something incidental I could take from these places, something to remember them by.  But there was no souvenir I could take that was not perishable or valuable, so I left each place alone.

From there, I drove, trying to feel my way back to my old high school.  I found my way without missing a turn, even though the landscape and buildings had changed dramatically.

It was late on a Friday evening, and I didn’t expect anything to be open.  But a local professional drama troupe was performing in the old auditorium where I had been a Thespian years before.  I walked into the foyer, to see a painting I had not seen in many years, a painting I’d created that had become a part of the auditorium’s permanent decor.  The painting had been moved, but it was still in the foyer.  I took a picture of it.  I would have liked to have walked backstage, to see the places where so many important moments of my life had occurred, but a new show was in progress, and I did not want to be disrespectful or disruptive, so I walked away.

I walked to my old art classroom and looked into the windows of that two-story room where my art teacher had introduced me to so many concepts about art, composition, color, and history.

I walked past all the temporary buildings (what school doesn’t have temporary buildings these days?) and looked into the “smoker’s courtyard” where high school kids would smoke between classes.  The area was fenced off and re-assigned to various maintenance vehicles.

When I attended my high school, it had over a thousand students.  It serviced a very large area.  A few years after I left, the school’s district was cut in two and a new high school took on half of the school’s population.

When I attended the school, it serviced two cities.  I lived on the far edge of one city it serviced.  And she lived 20 mintues away on the far end of the other city it serviced.  In most situations, she and I would have never met.  If we’d been a few years younger, she and I would have never met.  One more neighborhood further, she and I would have never met.  It would have saved me a lot of worry, concern, and heartache if she and I had never met.

But that’s not the way it happened.  As it happened, she and I met.  And she changed my world . . . permenantly . . . irrevocably.  And hopefully, her influence on me did some good for others.  Hopefully, her influence did a fraction of the good for others that it did for me.

Artworks by Tracey Matlock and Ashley MacLean, aka “tetheredto.”

solstice – n. – either of the two occasions in the year when the sun is directly above either the furthest point north or the furthest point south of the equator that it ever reaches.

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“Overconsumption – A Misperception In Some American Dreams”

   ~ by OneMoreOption

At some point in the forming of American cultural, musical, visual, and advertising messages, the idea of “more is better” became common and pervasive.  Further, on many fronts, it became an ideal to “have the ability to overconsume.”  Symbols of being “upper middle class” were objectified in being able to show that you could buy more than one person could reasonably need or use.

I am not pointing fingers at “others” in this very brief essay-ette.  I am pointing out a flaw I have recognized in me.  And even though I may be an old dog, I still aspire to regularly change and learn new tricks.  One of my goals, going foward, is to become less of a person who overconsumes.

I want to be a person who only consumes what one person should fairly consume, in consideration of the needs and time of others.  I don’t wish to take any actions that lead others to have to do any additional mindless or redundant work to accomodate my consumptions, simply because I have the ability to pay for them or consume them.  I hate the thought of others wasting their lives, inefficiently waiting around to serve others’ overconsumptive wants.  So, this is a new resolution for me going forward. 

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Winter Solstice (2005)

I give this film 5 out of 5 stars.

There is a clear message this film can teach anyone: 

If Allison Janney ever moves in down the street and asks to borrow a handtruck, drop whatever else you are doing and follow her . . . for the rest of your life.

This is an excellent film.  I don’t know how I didn’t hear more about it.  Halfway through, I was giving the film 5 out of 5 stars, just hoping the ending wouldn’t fall apart.  Then, pleasantly and assuringly, I recognized that Iron & Wine began singing “Sunset Soon Forgotten” in the film’s background music – that was simply more icing on the cake, proof of more incredibly high quality collaboration.

If you have not seen this film, I highly recommend it.  This film is not a an action thriller or high drama.  Rather, it is more subtle, tonal.  It’s a lovely, relaxing evening when you have a couple hours to spare.

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I don’t have a worthy coalescing theme to give as a heading for the artworks below.  I’m going to be gone away for about 9 days to be with family, so I wanted to leave everyone with some of the most beautiful artistic expressions I’ve seen recently.

(Click on the images if you wish to view them individually.)

Artworks by Lou O’ Bedlam:

Laura Taylor photographed by Lou O’ Bedlam.

Lou O’ Bedlam photographed by Laura Taylor.

Katie West photographed by Lou O’ Bedlam.

Katie West photographed by Laura Taylor.

Laura Taylor photographed by Katie West.

Katie West photographed by Katie West. 

Artwork by Jan Scholtz.

Artwork by Edoardo Pasero.

Artwork by Keren Fedida.

Artwork by Carol Woolgar.

Artwork by tetheredto.

© All rights reserved by the respective artists.

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Most Recent Artworks - All the Artists’ Artworks Index - my43things

“My Parents Should Probably Have Never Married”

  ~ by OneMoreOption

My parents should probably have never married.

That’s probably an odd thing for their child to say or believe.

If my mother had known a fraction of what I know about sex, sexuality, people, and relationships, then I doubt she would have selected my father as a partner.

Despite what you might assume, this says nothing bad about my father . . . or mother.

My father recently said, as an aside, that my mother and he were “complete opposites.”  And in many important and core ways, that may be true.

My mother has spent a lifetime tangibly supporting primarily intangible ideals and hopes.

My father has spent a lifetime tangibly promoting primarily tangible ideals and assets.

As their child, my passions have gone toward both the tangible and intangible, but mostly the tangible.

It takes very little for a relationship not to work.  You only need to have one irreconcilable difference in one area, an area that is non-negotiable for one of the two people involved.

And like most people, both my mother and father are immutable on some uncommon positions.

In response to observing my parents break-up and lives apart, one of my life’s passions has been to educate others how to avoid their mistakes.  I don’t have any Oedipal issues (I believe Oedipus Complexes are silly speculations, overwrought with sexual emphasis). 

But I do have, for lack of better defining terms “A Child of the 1960s Complex,” “An Arthur Miller Complex,” or “A Star Wars Complex.”  By that, I mean I have the desire to atone for the mistakes of my parents and to help prevent others from making similar mistakes.

And from that “complex,” I created this blog, a blog designed in part to provide relationship and sex information, so other people, young and old, will not be as uninformed in making their relationship and sexual choices, as uninformed as my parents were when they were selecting partners.

I’ve made plenty of my own relationship mistakes, but I have avoided many of the mistakes my parents made.  And hopefully I can help others avoid similar harm.

My parents are two of the best people you could ever meet.  I adore both of them.  And they are each adored by many others.  But “being the best of people” and “having a lot in common” are not sufficient qualities to make a long term significant other relationship work and thrive.  So much more goes into making good partner decisions.

I am the creation of the chemistry of my parents, from their nature and nurture.  And so is my sister.  So, I choose not to say my parents should not have had children together.  Too many good things have come from their common efforts to raise and nurture their children.

Sometimes chemistries that cannot co-exist can still be remarkably positively creative.

It’s not our job to hope for perfect pasts or perfect presents.  It’s our job to make the most of what remains.

From the final act of Thornton Wilder’s Pulitzer Prize winning play “The Skin Of Our Teeth”:

Antrobus:  Maggie!  I didn’t dare ask you:  my books!  They haven’t been lost, have they? . . . when we finally did collect a few torn copies out of old cellars they ran in everyone’s head like a fever.  They as good as rebuilt the world . . . all I ask is the chance to build new worlds . . . Maggie, you and I must remember in peace time all those resolves that were so clear to us in the days of war.  Maggie, we’ve come a long ways.  We’ve learned.  We’re learning.  And the steps of our journey are marked for us here.”

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These opinions I’ve expressed in this post are my introspective speculations.  I could as easily be wrong as I may be correct.  It may be of little importance whether my guesses are correct.  My conjecture is certainly after-the-fact and almost certainly moot for the specific practical concerns.

The value of expressing these opinions doesn’t necessarily come from their accurateness, but from their expression . . . from the inquiry and thoughtfulness of trying to answer the related questions.  The value may come from helping others who may feel similarly, helping them find positive ways out of blocked cognitive places.  There is hopefully value, empathy, and commonality for others who read these opinions and who have gone through similar familial or relationship circumstances.  The value may come from suggesting one more way of interpreting seemingly failed constructs.  The value may come from suggesting one more option out of an incorrectly perceived “ending.”

Without the “failed chemistry” of my parents, I would not exist.

And you would not be reading this.

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Most Recent Artworks - All the Artists’ Artworks Index - my43things

The above artwork is by Daniel Southard, titled “separations.”

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Artwork by Melissa Squires:

Artworks by Luciano Noble II:

Artwork by Jan Scholz, titled “behind the scenes.”

Artwork by Meg Elizabeth:

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“Dog and Butterfly”

 ~ by OneMoreOption

Concepts of permanency keep coming to my thought processes these days -  balancing the merits of fleeting beauty versus long standing beauty.

Most of us have fallen in love with butterflies.  Butterflies often represent fragile, magnificent, and buoyant beauties – beauties housed in entities that have no intent of permanency with you.

We don’t tend to commit ourselves to what is beautiful and unreliable.  More often, we commit ourselves to what is beautiful and dependable.  That’s one of the reasons why they call it “dependency,” whether or not the dependency is considered to be a good thing. 

We may stay emotionally drawn or attached to passing beauty, but we less often marry ourselves to it or create co-dependencies with it.

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Heart’s “Dog and Butterfly”:

There I was with the old man
Stranded again, so off I’d ran
A young world crashing around me
No possibilities of getting what I need
He looked at me and smiled
Said “No, no, no, no, no child.”

See the dog and butterfly. 
Up in the air he like to fly.
Dog and butterfly
Below she had to try.
She roll back down to the warm soft ground
Laughin’
She don’t know why
She don’t know why
Dog and butterfly

Well I stumbled upon your secret place
Safe in the trees you had tears on your face
Wrestling with your desires
Frozen strangers stealing your fires.
The message hit my mind
Only words that I could find

See the dog and butterfly
Up in the air he like to fly
Dog and butterfly
Below she had to try
She roll back down to the warm soft ground
Laughin’ to the sky
Up to the sky
Dog and butterfly

We’re getting older
The world’s getting colder
For the life of me I don’t know the reason why
Maybe it’s livin’ making us give in
Hearts rolling in taken back on the tide
We’re balanced together ocean upon the sky

Another night in this strange town
Moonlight holding me light as down
Voice of confusion inside of me
Just begging to go back where I’m free
Feels like I’m through
Then the old man’s words are true

See the dog and butterfly
Up in the air he like to fly
Dog and butterfly
Below she had to try
She roll back down to the warm soft ground
With a little tear in her eye
She had to try
She had to try
Dog and butterfly

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© All rights reserved by the respective artists.

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Can You Love Someone Whose Art You Do Not Love?

  ~by OneMoreOption

Can you love someone whose art you do not love?

My answer is “Yes.”  There are many people whose art collections I don’t admire, but who I love dearly.

You may be able to interpret a great deal about a person by the arts and artworks they create, pursue, or collect.  It is only one set of considerations.  And all of your interpretations will be subjective, but they will still be informative (and sometimes misleading).

Where you may run into difficulties is if you ever find someone whose personal artistries and art collections you love, but that person does not love you.  You may be headed for heartache in that those kinds of circumstances. 

I love people for arguably insufficient and unreasonable reasons.  For example, I’m sometimes attracted to people because of the art they create.  For example, when I first saw Séverine Pichon’s artworks, I immediately was drawn to her.  This probably makes little “sense.”  For one, she lives in France.  I live on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.  She speaks French.  I don’t.  She appears to have more of an appreciation for the frigthening and the macabre than I do.

The above artwork is titled “femme à collerette pour chien”.   © All rights reserved by Séverine Pichon.

Her images are often provocative, troubling, and lonely – yet they are intentionally broadcasted.  They are not simply introspective.  Some painters only paint for themselves or their close family members.  But I infer that Séverine is interested in sending out some messages.  And I am drawn to her messages.

Why do we care about art so much?  Why does it seem to carry disproportionate importance for some of us?

Can you interpret a person well by the artworks they create and collect?  Or do you end up only seeing the parts you wish to perceive?

Love is so difficult.  Intimate love often ultimately takes on the considerations of the whole of another person.  And loving the whole is a completely different endeavor than loving select parts. 

Art is often about presenting select parts.  Art is rarely about presenting the whole of anything.

In art, you can remove the offending, distracting, or unwanted parts.  In loving another person, you co-habitate with the offending, distracting, and unwanted parts – and those parts always exist.

So, the question becomes:  Can you love the whole of a person when you don’t love parts of them?  My answer is “Yes.”  If not, I doubt love could exist.

I think too many people focus on the parts of other people they don’t like, and in doing so, they lose their ability to pleasantly love the person, a person whose many parts they do like.

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Most Recent Artworks - All the Artists’ Artworks Index - my43things

This post begins with 3 photos from three artists.  The first 3 are from rougerouge.

The next 3 are from Jan Scholz:

The final 3 are from Juicy Carolina:

(Click on the images if you wish to view them individually.)

© All rights reserved by the respective artists.

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Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much?

  ~ by OneMoreOption

Have you ever loved someone so much that it would be a lie to keep it secret?

Have you ever loved someone so much that it would be a misrepresentation to not tell anyone about it?

Have you ever loved someone so much that it would be untrue to yourself and others to pretend your relationship with them never happened?

Have you ever loved someone so much that it would be false to act as if you didn’t really enjoy their company?

Have you ever loved someone so much that your relationship with them defines essential and significant parts of you?

I don’t understand people who hide their loves.  In particular, I don’t understand people who hide their homosexual loves, out of fear of being identified as homosexual or bisexual.  I don’t understand people who perpetuate misrepresentations about themselves, appearing to be heterosexual to the world while having homosexual relationships privately.

I believe in honesty – even unpopular and difficult honesty.

While I don’t understand many individuals’ decisions to stay closeted about their loves, at the same time, I work regularly to protect their choice to stay hidden.  And even when I don’t agree, I choose to respect their decisions to stay hidden.

I believe most, if not all, individuals who choose to live in a closet, out of fear of being identified as a homosexual or bisexual, are dishonest with themself and with the rest of the world.

I probably have a minority opinion in that I don’t believe our significant others are simply ”totally private matters” that should be kept hidden.

I believe if more people were honest about their loves and relationships, then the world would have far less fear and stigma placed on non-heterosexual relationships.  Homosexuality and bisexuality would become better understood, more familiar, and more humanized.

What if a person could lose their job if they are identified as homosexual?  I understand these issues are not easy.  There are some vitally important lines of work that are not available or safe for non-heterosexuals. 

Life is short.  And if in your one trip around this planet, you have to portray yourself dishonestly to most people and to your work environment in order to maintain one particular line of work, then I’d encourage you to find a different line of work that allows you to live an honest life and do honest work.  I’d encourage you to find a line of work that doesn’t require you to hide the people you care about the most.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you would never lie about how much you care about them?

I hope so. 

If not, I hope you will someday.

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Most Recent Artworks - All the Artists’ Artworks Index - my43things

I give this film 5 out of 5 stars.

When I encounter a great artwork, I want to share it with the world.  I’m not a traditional art critic in that I’m not looking to comment positively or negatively on most artworks that comes across my radar.  I don’t comment on over 95% of films, cultural news stories, images, songs, or other artworks that I encounter.

I believe life is short, so I try to focus most of my commentary on pointing attention toward extraordinarily good artworks.

This “biocumentary,” a biography presented in a video documentary style, with apparent full cooperation of Pete Seeger and most of his immediate family, is excellent.  If you don’t know who Pete Seeger is, then learning his story, purposes, and methods will likely be worthwhile for you.   This film presents a concise and fast-paced history of his artistry and advocacy.

Seeger used his talents and gifts to promote causes he believed in.  He used songs to attempt to effect social changes.  It would be easy to call much of his music didactic, but I think Seeger consciously conceded the loss of some of the beauties of indirectness and metaphor in order to speak more clearly to more people about issues he believed deserved more public attention and change.

Generations come and go quickly.  Fashions and artistic trends of the world move forward quickly, leaving most things from a couple generations ago behind and mostly forgotten.  Seeger sang to keep good ideas in circulation and to keep public dialogues going on less visible and often unpopular-to-view issues.

Seeger did not seek to keep others in the ideas of the past.  He often used older musical styles to express newer ideas for the future.  That is maybe what separated him from many folk and bluegrass musicians.

He spurred on and helped to create the 60s and 70s folk music movements, movements that were not interested in preserving the old and conservative, but rather were interested in stimulating new and critical thinking.

Most of us will not be remembered primarily for what we did to strengthen and improve ourselves.  If we are remembered, it will more likely be for what we did to strengthen and improve others in our generation and future generations.  If that is true, Seeger will likely be well remembered.

Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger

Pete Seeger on Wikipedia

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Other notes:  This is a sad day, with the loss of both Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.  I grew up with Farrah’s poster on my wall.  I grew up with Michael’s music in my mind.  My condolences to both of their friends and families. 

I admired Farrah’s consistent and repeated efforts to promote feminist causes and considerations in her work choices. 

For all of Michael’s life’s complications and questions, his musical artistry created an undeniably pleasant soundscape that made my life more fun.  I am grateful to both of them for the joy they gave to so many of us.

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Most Recent Artworks - All the Artists’ Artworks Index - my43things

The above artwork is by rougerouge.

(Click on the image if you wish to view it individually.)

© All rights reserved by rougerouge.

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“Memories With Little Dialogue”

  ~ by OneMoreOption

Events in your memory are sometimes like music.  They are often the actions and environments that occurred after the honest words were already spoken, after the consistent actions backed them up.

In the pleasant environments I help to create, words are often rare because the words are carefully chosen.

10 well chosen, separated words can often do more than 100 clumsy ones.

More words often lose to better words.

You will rarely learn how to create these words or environments from watching T.V.  You can often learn more from music than from video.  You may more often learn more from live theater than from the movie screen.

I wish I could show you these places and quiet actions.  But they are still seldom seen arts, arts that can transform your personal world. 

I cannot give these things to you.  There is a great amount of luck involved.  Many people may never experience intimate, quiet and caring environments.  They may never have a clue what they missed or what all the fuss was about. 

I hope someday you find a kind angel who will invite and create these careful worlds with and for you.  And I hope you become a kind angel for someone else too.

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“Already”

  ~ by OneMoreOption

Someone has already colored that color
Someone has already shown that body part
Someone has already tattooed something there
Someone has already said that expletive
Someone has already pierced that skin
Someone has already tried that sexually
Someone has already taken that picture
The uncommons have become common
In this modern world, what remains uncommon is honesty and candor
If you’re going to “rebel,” then why become one more member of a growing crowd?
If you’re going to rebel, rebel toward honesty.  That kind of rebellion will better reveal how strong you are or how much you can endure.

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Most Recent Artworks - All the Artists’ Artworks Index - my43things

Artworks by Michael G. Magin:

(Click on the images if you wish to view them individually.)

© All rights reserved by Michael G. Magin.

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Most Recent Artworks - All the Artists’ Artworks Index - my43things

The above and below artworks are by Ashley Testerosa:

Artwork by Meg Elizabeth:

Artwork by Gillian Leigh:

(Click on the images if you wish to view them individually.)

© All rights reserved by the respective artists. 

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“The Rare Chemistries With Others With Whom You Can Make Each Other Happy”

  ~ by OneMoreOption

I’m trying to make you happy damnit.

Do you think I’m writing all these words for my health?

Well, yes.  That’s also part of it.

But I’m not in it for the money.  This endeavor only costs me time and money.  It’s the opposite of financially profitable.

I’m not in it for the fame.  Nobody knows who writes these posts.  

I’m a people pleaser.  I enjoy making other people happier.

The “pursuit of happiness” may not be all it used to be.  Is it still in vogue?  “Melancholy” is gaining acceptance in some literate circles.  More power to them.  I’m not saying they’re wrong.  Although, it kind of sounds like a sports team who is content with losses and ties.  I mean, “acceptance” is one thing, but not trying to win and not caring whether you win may be foolin’ yourself.  Even sports teams that don’t play to win are often playing to have fun – to gain some happiness from the activity.  (Yes, I understand some people avoid most competitive environments . . . and their related metaphors).

I believe we are sometimes given cultural messages that “everyone is similar underneath it all” and “everyone wants to be friendly . . . if just given the chance.”  But neither of those concepts may be true.  And finding people who both a) want to make you happy, and b) are capable of doing the practical and impractical things to make you happy may be far more rare than you recognize.

There are many parts to these equations.  For example, it may help to start by being a person who can be made happy.  Many people are very difficult to consistently please.  Ironically, one of the characteristics that often helps others’ happiness is for a person to have the ability to be pleased easily.  It’s often pleasant to have easily pleasable people in our company.

Some people enjoy verbal repartee and debate.  Others prefer quiet sensitivity and deference.  Our sources of happiness can come from opposing characteristics.

But I still believe in “happiness.”  And the older I get, the more I value people who still work hard each day, attempting to make everyone around them happy, without exclusions.  Those people are rare.  And I think those people are smart – even if they often don’t receive reciprocal efforts or rewards from others.

I create public art, art that is viewable to anyone passing by, because I want the world to have more artistic influences.  I want music in the air.  I want more colors on the walls.  I want more thoughts and questions stirring our minds.

I want to inspire you, whether or not you want to inspire others.

Reading this post’s title, some may reflexively say, “No one else can make anybody else happy.  It all depends on each individual to make themselves happy.”  You may be right.  But my personal experiences and interpretations suggest to me that I’ve received much or most of my happiness from the actions and influences of others.  I’m not the sole source of my happiness.  Most of it has come from intelligent and intended external efforts of others.

To be courteous to regular readers, so they don’t worry something is awry or missing for the wrong reasons, I’m heading out for a week to attempt to make everyone around me happy.  But before I take a break from this blog, I wanted to write this post, to share a smile and some possibly uplifting ideas.

I’m like a dog who does not understand the merits of sadness or loneliness.  My tail still waggs too much.  I’m still stupid enough to be constantly looking up, left and right, always on the lookout for happiness.

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Most Recent Artworks - All the Artists’ Artworks Index - my43things

The above artwork is by Francesco Brotzu.

(Click on the image if you would like to view it individually.)

© All rights reserved by Francesco Brotzu.

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Experiences Versus Vicarious Arts

  ~ by OneMoreOption

You cannot experience many of life’s great pleasures through reading books, listening to music, or experiencing other art mediums.  Many of life’s greatest pleasures cannot be capably described, re-formed, or simulated.

Conversely, you cannot fully experience many of life’s great realities until you have read some stories, ideas, philosophies, and descriptions.  You cannot fully appreciate many realities without certain accompanying music.  You cannot fully recognize, absorb, or sense many intense feelings without first experiencing diverse artworks and mediums.

There is a lovely balance in life that does not allow us to experience the full monty through only “art” or “experience.”  Life requires integrations of both to further enjoy the other.

Can you imagine your life without certain memories?

Can you imagine your ability to interpret or appreciate certain experiences without specific education or foreknowledge?

There are extraordinarily good feelings that I would never be able to describe through written or spoken words, even after experiencing those feelings fully through hearing certain songs.

There are many cognitive concepts I could try to put into words, but I understand and identify them through music.

There are extraordinarily good feelings that I experienced physically that I would not be able to describe through words, music, or art.

The arts often portray the dynamic and aggressive.  Some of life’s great pleasures, like kindness and sensitivity, are very difficult to communicate through artforms.  If you’ve never experienced personal care from another human being, I think it would be hard to fully understand it from only reading a narrative, viewing tranquil images, or listening to soothing music.

Pursue both the arts and experiences.  Don’t expect to be satiated through only one or the other.

When you pursue “experiences,” often human conflicts will arise.  On those paths, I wish you wisdom and good luck.  I cannot steer you away from harm when you choose paths less traveled by.  But I also cannot counsel you to take the straight and narrow – for that would be hypocritical – and the straight and narrow may keep you from some of life’s most pleasant experiences.

But I will ask you to be as kind and considerate as you can be to all involved.  And while that may sound achievable, it will likely present you with a lifetime full of challenges.

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Other notes:

An unfortunate discomfort, when your marriage or long term significant other relationship is ending, is the apparent contradiction that the person who was a primary source of great pleasure for you has become a source of pain, conflict, or absence - a difficult to reconcile reality.

I do not fully have the ability to comprehend the value or kindness of women toward others.  And I can’t imagine a world without them.

Why is it that women still predominantly choose to give up the identity of their last name in order to take on the identity of their husband’s name?  Is it because they realize their identity, intentionally or unintentionally, will often become intertwined with their husband’s actions?  Do men fully appreciate what their wives are wagering?

I have these conversations with everyone because they would be too much to place on any one person.  While all of them may be of little interest to any one person, some topics may be of some interest to different people.

My mind constantly searches for things it believes it lost.  How do you turn off certain ideas?  How do you not consider the lyrics of songs after someone has brought them to your attention?  Can you never again just listen mindlessly to the music?

From “The Temple of My Familiar” p. 97:

“She was so angry.  The maddest human being I’ve ever seen in all my years of living.  Because she saw people losing ground in the battle against ignorance . . .

Here was a woman I loved, who loved me and let me paint – she thought nothing of spending a morning thinning enough house paint for me to use up in an hour, and she was a regular scavenger for cardboard and likely pieces of wood, since I painted on any and everything – and she encouraged it – sometimes even, when you might say, forced me to do it, and I couldn’t give her up.”

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